Monday, August 29, 2011

Does Anyone Really Like Final Destination and Going the Distance?

Somehow I've recently watched a record number of awful flicks. I'll review the last two turkeys I've seen, and then we can all move quickly along with our lives.

I'm assuming 2000's Final Destination is somebody's favorite movie because there have been four ... four!!!??? ... sequels. I don't think that the first installment is in the torture horror-movie genre, but it sure tortured me. There's really nothing redeeming. The characters are played by no-name, C-list actors (except for a pathetically bad Seann William Scott, of American Pie fame), the suspense is non-existent, and there are no scares. In fact, I'm not really sure what this is supposed to be. Is this truly considered part of the horror genre? Whatever happened to the good old days, with Friday the 13th, Halloween, Phantasm II, Jeepers Creepers, and even Drag Me to Hell, to name a few. One reviewer noted that this is something "aimed at the teen dating crowd," so maybe that explains my disconnect from the lame and tame scare tactics going on here.

Next up is something I can't believe I stooped to renting. Even though it looked like a movie I was almost sure I had seen before (I hadn't), I rented Drew Barrymore and Justin Long as long-distance lovers trying to make it work in Going the Distance. How bad could it be with those two cute and adorable lovebirds, not to mention It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's Charlie Day and Married ... with Children's Christina Applegate? Well, put it this way: It's no wonder Barrymore and Long's real-life love affair ended. They have zero chemistry, Barrymore looks oddly rough throughout the film, and it's painful watching everyone try to make these jokes work.

With Final Destination, it's a matter of people without talent displaying it for all the world to see. With Going the Distance, it's a matter of people with loads of talent making a huge mistake. Great soundtrack though.

Final Destination
* out of ***** stars

Going the Distance
* out of ***** stars

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